Monthly Archives: November, 2011

Parts of my old blog found cached

Ryan O Neal Festival

Posted: March 2, 2006



I watched Love Story and  Paper Moon tonight on TCM. Of course I thought Paper Moon was better and it is now one of my favorite movies.

My Russian class is going smoothly these days. There are several Russian Jews in the class who were very excited when I told them in Conversation how I wanted to open Heebster Lounge someday. A woman next to me said “Ah, will you have gefilte fish?”

The woman was from a small town in Ukraine and had recently emigrated to America to be closer to her family. A lot of the Russians are curious about my background and think I am Russian too. They ask me where I was born and I explain to them I am American. They then inquire about my family’s background so I tell them I’m Jewish and my ancestors are from Odessa and Lithuania and that a distant ancestor served in the Tsarist army for twenty years which is true.

I know this because of a twelve page document translated from the Yiddish from a hundred years ago chronicling the nineteenth century travails of my maternal great-grandmother’s side of the family. Someday I hope to find the original Yiddish document in my grandmother’s house and retranslate it because there are some curious wanting things in the translated version I have.







Posted: March 1, 2006



I read a this horrible story about a woman who may go to jail if she doesn’t watch the video of her gang rape. Any opinions on the matter?


I watched Lost, the tv show which was very good this time. Claire, the only mother in the group, has disturbing flashbacks to when she was captured. The “others”, a group of mysterious people following the Dharma Initiative, planned to surgically remove her infant from her while she was pregnant, but she escaped in the nick of time.


Some people don’t like Lost which I don’t understand because its such a compelling show. Anyways, I’m tired so I shall retire.






If I were cast away

Posted: February 28, 2006



A week ago I was watching the last half hour of Cast Away which I saw when several years ago with my father. Cast Away, starring Tom Hanks is about a Fedex employee who survives for four years on a desert island and returns to civilization to learn his girlfriend has married his dentist. But when he was away, he got to talk to a softball named “Wilson”, which prevented him from going insane. Its in short, a depressing movie though very well done. Watching the movie again caused me to wonder–what if I were him?


No one knows how they will behave unless placed in a certain situation. This week I have been feeling a bit glum because A) my winter break is coming to a close, B) I have to do a whole load of homework for school that is overwhelming, C) My parents have not filled out Fin Aid stuff and it has to be received by the Collegeboard tomorrow (or in worse case scenario postmarked by then) and D) Being overwhelmed and feeling lonely at the same time is kind of morbid.


Sometimes people randomly email me claiming they read my very early entries from when I was fourteen and say they would like to help me come out of the closet. Like any young teenager, I may have doubted my sexual preferences, but I am comfortably straight for the time being. If in a future life and millenia I turn out to be the next Ellen Degeneres, of course lets go on a date. But for now, I believe I prefer men.

Other times I get emails from shrinks and research organizations inquiring as to whether I am suicidal. If I were, I would be gone a long time ago as the stereotypical teen suicide is usually done by slitting wrists. I noticed the other day that the veins on my wrists are very close to the surface which is a blessing and a curse.

It is a blessing because it would be easier for a nurse to inject IV tubes, but a curse because if I ever became hopelessly depressed, I could find my veins too easily.

I would never become hopelessly depressed because I have healthy ways to channel my energy.

But about Cast Away–sometimes I feel the need or desire to be trapped on a desert island for maybe two months so I can do nothing but read, write and survive until the mystery ship arrives.






Winter Break coming to a close

Posted: February 26, 2006



This week is my last of winter break. Tonight Mom and I watched the final two hours of Bleak House, a Masterpiece series based on Dicken’s Bleak House.

I have to catch up with my Russian classes and AP Literature class so I’ll be mainly lounging around the house, reading, blogging, sleeping and on Saturday I am going to go to Claremont with my father and brother and possibly a friend.






Musings on a train

Posted: February 24, 2006



So I took Amtrack to and from Carmel. The train up was quite pleasant and I chat with a woman whose husband and father-in-law were so proud of USC they named their son Troy, after Tommy the Trojan. The return trip was more interesting.


The Thruway bus left Salinas Train Station around 1 in the afternoon. Jeremy sat there on the curb for ten minutes waiting for my bus to take off. The woman next to me was turning 30 next month and gave me a quizzical look as to why my boyfriend was just there, staring at the bus not doing anything.


“Oh, he’s just waiting for me to call him to tell him I am still alive.”


We chat for a few minutes and I learned she was a researcher at University of North Carolina, Chapel Hill’s Cancer Institute. Eventually conversations switched and I felt tired so I took a nap.


She was very amiable and got into a three and a half hour conversation with the bus driver which was easy to eavesdrop on. They talked about their personal lives which fortunately to me, was quite open (and juicy). When we stopped in King City (which has a population of 11,000 people), a black lady walked forward and said she was moved by hearing the bus driver talk about his three children.


“You must be a very proud Papa!” she exclaimed. She explained how her son, 6’7 was lucky to get into San Jose State.


“He was getting straight A’s and then plunged in his senior year when he discovered womens’ skirts. He became a skirt chaser I tell you…and after all this…working my ass off so much its a wonder I still have one!”


“But I’m proud of my son,” she elaborated, “a lot of other boys give their mothers too much grief. I’m happy”. She also, probably being middleaged like other baby boomers, feel that it is the time of her life to learn Spanish–fluently by the end of the year.


That was interesting but her personality got tiresome when she was obnoxiously loud on the celphone telling her friend or husband what to buy at a store, and what kind of turquoise she wanted.


Meanwhile, the southern lady in front of me told the bus driver nearly everything in her life that by the time we reached San Luis Obispo I smiled at her and was going to ask her a question when I realized that if I did ask her about her other brother, she would know I eavesdropped and I would be embarassed.


Without knowing her name, I found out her biological father may be wanted by the FBI, her two younger brothers are addicted to drugs, her 28 year old brother is a massage therapist, she graduated UCSB grad school after five years, her mother is a meek lady, and she goes to a restaurant called the Blue Heron back where she lives with her grandmother, her grandmother’s octogenarian friends, and her mother and has a nice time with them. I also learned she was in a relationship with a European in grad school but it didn’t work out because she was independent spirited and did not want to be tied down in commitment whereas he was macho and wanted a housewife. She felt guilty for giving her family grief by not marrying yet, but hey she is not even thirty yet.

This is one of the reasons why I like trains.


Jeremy and I had tomato cheese fondue at Lugano’s Swiss Bistro. It was my first time having fondue.








Big Sur and Carmel

Posted: February 24, 2006



So I had a few nice days with the boyfriend. We baked chocolate souffle cake, went shopping, hiked and picnicked in Big Sur, and drove around. One of the shops was owned by a Hungarian Jewish lady who thought I was a shiksa girl my boyfriend was dating. Fluent in Yiddish and old country-isms, she assumed my boyfrienda  full fledged devout Jew consorting with a secular gentile. She gave us a few good deals on napkins, books and postcards I got for my mother and some friends.

We baked a chocolate souffle cake in a springform pan that turned out beautifully.





To celebrate our anniversary, Jeremy and I went to very good restaurants around the area. Carmel is a nice vacation spot on its own and reminded me of Seattle. On Sunday night, we went to a place called Fish House that served good cappino. Monday night we went out to a good Swiss boutique restaurant and had tomato-cheese fondue. And in Big Sur we had their “famous” hamburgers.


In one of the stores in Carmel, I spotted an interesting book called the “The Wise Bamboo” by J Malcolm Harris, an army officer who managed the Imperial Hotel in Tokyo for six years. The book seems to be out of print because its hard to find online, and the description of the first edition is a lot like the one I have.






Gone for a few days

Posted: February 19, 2006



This blog will not be updated until February 24. I was thinking of doing a research project on Russians in W. Hollywood. If you have any interesting articles or photos about it, I would gladly appreciate it. Email me at Thank you.






End of Lifeskills

Posted: February 16, 2006



Thankfully, today concluded two required classes: Health and Life Skills. I took a final for Health, in which one of the questions was about the cowbell vesicle in the male reproduction system–a thing I never heard of. And for Lifeskills, I had to do a poster about a tentative career choice: the CIA.

I described how Ryszard Kuklinski was my hero and how I wanted to perhaps someday open a restaurant called Heebster Lounge.

We got out an hour early and on the way to Gelson’s, where I meet my mother, I saw a girl with her head between her boyfriend’s legs–his jeans unzipped. I looked away suddenly and gave them a disapproving look. I then thought about what I saw and decided if I were in charge of the school, there will be a special room for hook-ups where couples will be supervised and be charged a dollar an hour to use stalls to makeout, but not go beyond second base. If they go beyond that base, they will get a detention and be fined fifty dollars each–in which all the money will go towards the English and Math Departments.

Each stall would have a little loveseat, and would be a love-in parking place so couples who have their needs can have some privacy and not disturb others during their breaks and lunches. Just a thought–a healthy alternative than public obscenity.

My school is well funded. After all they give out free condoms. I think they can perhaps stretch their muscles towards public dispays of affection.







Posted: February 15, 2006



Colby Cosh has a roundup on ‘wartoons’. I like Colby Cosh–he had some interesting stuff earlier about Canadian politics in respect to adscam and I remember reading him in the National Post on occasion.

Eugene Volokh, hat tip to Insty, has a post about how an editor from a college newspaper was suspended for publishing the ‘offensive’ infamous Jyllands-Posten cartoons. The suspension was just ridiculous.

And last but not least, Cartoonist Leunig ‘s cartoon’s popularity with Islamist Iran demonstrates that Islamofascism is not that far from the so called peace-loving anti-war movement…which in this case is anti-Israel.

I have to do a poster for tomorrow for Lifeskills so I’m calling it a night.






Valentines, Female Anatomy, and red balloons

Posted: February 14, 2006



I walked to school today and saw a sea of red balloons, stuffed animals, and candy. The reaction? I almost gave my lunch of spicy California roll, mango juice, and banana to the toilet. Plus it did not help a woman model greeted me racily in the first few pages of LA Weekly.

It also so happens this week in Health 101 we are covering Sex Ed. The teacher a female, covers more of the menstrual cycle than the puppetry of the penis. Well the penis, she explains is simple mechanically. The ovulation cycle of a woman is more complex so she spends two days on that. In addition, we spent a couple hours today watching TLC’s Teen Species, that features a few programs on puberty, teenage pregnancy, responsibility, chemical brain changes etc. What was the most disturbing was a scene where 17 year old Sanette gives birth to a wobbly looking infant…and yeah the camera has a zoom-in effect of the tiny little creature covered with slimy red substances that is Sanette’s vaginal blood. Wow, my California Sushi roll made it to my throat. My friend was lucky to be sitting more than one foot away at that moment.

After the programmes, we discussed sexual functions emotionally and the clitoris. Yesterday we went over a handout about how having sex too early can damage one’s self esteem. That is true. After all today, is the perfect day to pledge purity.

Anyways the teacher was discussing the labia minora and labia majora and moved on to the clitoris, the pleasure bell of the female anatomy. She said, “Gentlemen: The clitoris!”

I was going to wonder if she was going to say “Clitoris, the gentlemen”, and draw a picture of a happy clitoris. Now that would have been simpler.

She continued, “Make it your best friend!” and elaborated on how if they did so, the would help the woman know her body better and thus have a healthy sex life. She went on to say that a sexually aware woman was shunned in our society but they should encourage sexploration of their bodies in a loving committed relationship–ideally at twenty-five. “Look, a woman who masturbates–it is healthy”. So thus, sex is not sinful but a healthy recreation if treated right.

I agreed with most of what she said…though I already knew it. But how often do I think of sex? Well obviously now I’m writing about it…but lets say a vibrator to me seems a bit lewd, and I certainly can survive without it because I am happy now without it and think sexual activity this young is a bit odd…but you know it takes all types to make the world go round…so I can’t be that judgmental.

Anyways, have a happy horny Valentines day…my least favorite holiday of the year.






I’m online

Posted: February 11, 2006



right here.






Having a Jewish Mother

Posted: February 10, 2006



Mom and I are walking back from a speech she gave at USC. She mentions a boy she liked there. She mentions he is good dating “material”. It seems that my mother secretly wants to date each young man she sees at USC, except for the repulsive ones she occasionally finds. But USC is a big campus and there are handsome and repulsive kinds everywhere.

Mom and I tour Claremont McKenna. She mentions there are more men than women there perhaps because of their International Relations program. She opines college is the perfect opportunity to find a suitable husband. I’m thinking A), we’re not living in the south in the 1950’s, and B) my goal in life is not to be a desperate housewife but rather to further my education and become a spy for the CIA, not a wife of a spy.

That is a mild Jewish Mrs. Bennett for you. My dad on the other hand, when he notices a guy, sounds like someone from Queer Eye. Once a few years ago when I had a short lived tutoring session with a classmate of his from a Spanish class who happened to speak Russian, he noticed the sixteen year old son of his friend. “So, did you notice Jack? Wasn’t he a cutie?”

I thought, my dad was trying to come out of the closet, or somehow saw his younger self in this teenager’s body. “Yeah, um, he’s fine. Why do you like him, dad?”

My dad stopped matchmaking after that one. And I was thirteen or fourteen around then, far too young to notice potential dates.









Posted: February 10, 2006



My favorite part of the Olympics premiere is when all the nations parade waving their flags. And of course I get very excited when Slavic and Western nations dress in their costumes. More later. Company here.







Posted: February 9, 2006



Yeah my boyfriend is seconds away from being conned into joining the International Maoist Party, and I’m going to one of Young Americans’ Foundations summer programs, but his new website Teenz for Darfur seems quite promising.

Over the weekend my Health assignment is to draw a detailed sketch of the male genitalia system and not to discriminate the oh so wonderful vagina. And we’re being quizzed on everything from the anus to the vagina. The question is how should I draw my penis? Erect, soft, circumcised, or uncircumcised. Big, small, keloid, or crooked. Any suggestions?

I was thinking about coloring the male appendage the pattern of our American flag. Speaking of genitalia, there is a scene from 40 year old Virgin when Andy, the desperate protagonist, steals a model of a vagina from the gynecologist’s office. Great comic movie by the way.






Sex in the high school

Posted: February 2, 2006



I just finished reading this

Quick Trip to Lodz

Lodz, pronounced “Woodzh” (rhymes almost with Woods) is a 5 hour train ride north of Krakow and in a totally different region from Malopolska or Lesser Poland.

I just came back from Lodz where I saw the Museum of Modern Art. It was pretty well…confrontational. Modern Art is not my favorite but because I heard that it was the oldest of its kind in Poland–figured I had to see it for myself. Lets just say there were exhibitions called “Object Fetish Phantasms” and “Body Protethis Imagination.” My favorite Polish artist, who was not displayed there, is Tamara Lempicka (
 I was watching TV here the other day and apparently: its quite popular for Germans to sail or boat from Berlin to Poland on the Watra or Odra River. And around the border there is a “ship-lift” that literally lifts yachts so they could rise “across” the border. And on the same river route–there are many little touristic spots like Mychiod, the Notec Forest which is known for having a group of wild wolves that behave as if they’re tame, and other natural spots that are home to many rare birds: black storks, red kites, eagles, herons etc. To preserve the nature and to get more tourists–a lot of funding comes from specifically Germany, Poland and then the EU.
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