Five Jobs for that very special person

Dear Readers,

It’s been a long time. I just moved back to Los Angeles, my hometown and have joined many in my generation in the great Job Search. My background is rather unconventional. I went to Poland for graduate school, and stayed an extra year to gain experience. Well, I taught English (as a foreign language) for about a year, and after having many adventures in Europe, decided to come back and find more work.

I have made lists, rewritten several dozen cover letters, my resume several times, and met quite a few interesting people in my job interviews. I even did a two day internship in downtown Los Angeles and learned so much in those two days.

Meanwhile, to amuse largely myself and maybe some of you, I’ve made a list of ten interesting “once in a lifetime” jobs I’ve found on Craig’s List and other sources.

  1. Actor/Actress Wanted for the Role of “Manic Zombie” in “Panic Mountain.” Responsibilities range from being able to work weekends crawling around on all four’s, presumably moaning, and scaring the clients. Also, in the advertisement, “Unique or abnormal traits are acceptable for certain roles such as exceptionally tall or short statures, skin modifications, amputees.” In other words, the disabled are welcome. Compensation: 225 dollars for a 28 hours of work. That is below minimum wage (currently now 9/hour in L.A). But lodging is provided! Right, in a cabin with bunkbeds less comfortable than your own bed. If you have leadership skills and want to earn an additional 100/month, you can apply as the “resistance leader.”
  2. “My Cat from Hell” is casting for cat ladies with codependent cats (or the other way around.) You will get 800 dollars to feed your cat plus “consultative services,” is this code for therapy, on camera, where you will be immortalized on late night television? The funny (or sad) thing is I’m tempted to apply. I have a cat who is definitely quirky, and I’m thinking of how many cans of “Fussie Cat” I can get for her with that much money…not to mention some starring roles on television and the silver screen.
  3. “Do you have a secret?” This is probably one of those Jerry Springer-produced shows like Steve Wilkos (yes, I confess I spent/wasted some time watching his program(s) when I was sick in bed once). If you want to tell your husband/wife that you more than tipped the wait staff the other day and get paid for it, be my guest. I hope it’s worth the risk.
  4. If you are older than 75 and in dire need of food, then this is for you. Pros if you like acting in someone’s film school project. Cons if you are a misanthrope.
  5. If you are a pop culture junkie and want to win a hundred grand, then this is for you.

2 responses

  1. Maia, Let’s connect. I’m looking for writers.

    1. Thank you Jennifer! I’m emailing you right now.

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